First day back writing food down and journaling. I teach class this morning so that will throw me off a little foodwise, but I will get my water in! I'll come home for lunch...take a quick shower and get back to Hays for my dental checkup at 4. I think for lunch I will have a piece of fish or chicken and some veggies... not quite sure which one sounds best to me yet. I tried to weigh myself this morning and of course, my scale won't weigh me. It's a new scale and yet 99.9% of the time, it won't weigh me!? I'll give it one more try before I leave for school though. I better go get ready or I'll be walking for miles to get to class. ;/
Day one... off to a great start!
I have been overweight for over half my life. The thin person inside of me is screaming to be let out but my obsession with food won't let it. This is my journey to become healthy again before it is too late.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Sunday, June 14, 2015
My last hurrah.
Today marks my last try. If I fail... I will die. I already feel my body giving up on me. I don't have anyone here at home to turn to so I turned to my old friends at 3 fat chicks.... Here is what I wrote to them:
Ok ladies. Many of you have known me for about 10 years and in those 10 years.... I remained fat. No, not fat.... obese. I just keep telling myself... oh, I'll start tomorrow. Or, I'll do better tomorrow and then I never do. The best I ever did was when I first joined 3fc and joined WW. I lost 30 lbs...then my dad passed away and I stopped trying again. oh, since then I have yo-yoed and tried every get skinny quick trick out there. Guess what? There is no trick. Recently, I lost my sister. She was only 62. Beautiful, full of life and very worried about me...and yet she is the one who passed away. You see? I now understand that I am skimming by by the skin of my teeth before I am so unhealthy that I will die. I'm already to the point that I don't like to go anywhere because my knees hurt too bad. I know I have no cartlidge in my knees from my dr...but i also know that being so fat isn't helping either. The loss of my sister has really put me in depression and of course, I turned to food. My best friend, Stacey, has joined WW and wants me to join as well. Only bad thing is that we live 2 hours away from each other. Last summer, my daughter Vanessa got me excited about Chris Powell and his food plan...and I did start to lose weight. about 2 lbs a week which is healthy and good. but i stopped....again. and seriously, I haven't tried very hard since then. So today, I took a good long look at myself as I was out to lunch with my daughters.... my beautiful daughters and my 4 wonderful grandchildren and it finally hit me... lucy...you are obese! Soon your grandkids will be embarrassed to be seen with you at their school. You already put your own children through the embarrassment... it's time to stop this shit. so....tonight I am pouring out my soul to you and re-creating my fitness pal account and i WILL start writing everything that goes into my mouth down. I will slowly begin to walk and exercise. I need your support. I know I've let all of you down in the past by just giving up, but I am begging you to be my support system one last time. Please help me.
Lucy
I fear without their support, that I will fail. and I cannot afford to fail this time. This time I am doing it for my life. Even though I am alone 95% of my day.... I am worth being alive. I am a good person, a good mom, a great Nana, and a good friend... I DESERVE a 2nd chance at life. It's not over yet.... I am only 52. It's time I start living for me. It's time I take a step to actually LIVE instead of just existing. I can do this.... I promise you mom, dad and Katy. I will do this!
Ok ladies. Many of you have known me for about 10 years and in those 10 years.... I remained fat. No, not fat.... obese. I just keep telling myself... oh, I'll start tomorrow. Or, I'll do better tomorrow and then I never do. The best I ever did was when I first joined 3fc and joined WW. I lost 30 lbs...then my dad passed away and I stopped trying again. oh, since then I have yo-yoed and tried every get skinny quick trick out there. Guess what? There is no trick. Recently, I lost my sister. She was only 62. Beautiful, full of life and very worried about me...and yet she is the one who passed away. You see? I now understand that I am skimming by by the skin of my teeth before I am so unhealthy that I will die. I'm already to the point that I don't like to go anywhere because my knees hurt too bad. I know I have no cartlidge in my knees from my dr...but i also know that being so fat isn't helping either. The loss of my sister has really put me in depression and of course, I turned to food. My best friend, Stacey, has joined WW and wants me to join as well. Only bad thing is that we live 2 hours away from each other. Last summer, my daughter Vanessa got me excited about Chris Powell and his food plan...and I did start to lose weight. about 2 lbs a week which is healthy and good. but i stopped....again. and seriously, I haven't tried very hard since then. So today, I took a good long look at myself as I was out to lunch with my daughters.... my beautiful daughters and my 4 wonderful grandchildren and it finally hit me... lucy...you are obese! Soon your grandkids will be embarrassed to be seen with you at their school. You already put your own children through the embarrassment... it's time to stop this shit. so....tonight I am pouring out my soul to you and re-creating my fitness pal account and i WILL start writing everything that goes into my mouth down. I will slowly begin to walk and exercise. I need your support. I know I've let all of you down in the past by just giving up, but I am begging you to be my support system one last time. Please help me.
Lucy
I fear without their support, that I will fail. and I cannot afford to fail this time. This time I am doing it for my life. Even though I am alone 95% of my day.... I am worth being alive. I am a good person, a good mom, a great Nana, and a good friend... I DESERVE a 2nd chance at life. It's not over yet.... I am only 52. It's time I start living for me. It's time I take a step to actually LIVE instead of just existing. I can do this.... I promise you mom, dad and Katy. I will do this!
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