Weekly Weigh In Post

Down .5 pounds. I was wishing for 5...but at least the .5 is in the right direction ! I need to bump it up and work harder. Yes, I may even have to break down and do the 'E" word!! ahhh! Yes, i said it! EXERCISE. I need to do it. I will break out my Richard Simons and see how much I can do. If it gets a little warmer out...I will try walking the track. one time a round at first and work upto a mile. :)
I CAN do this! I want to lost 5-6 pounds this week to put me in a new group of digits!!! oh yeah that would be GRAND!!! Let's see what I can do!!!!

Just a blog

I have a lot of tension in my life at the moment and I fear it will sabatoge my efforts at losing weight so I thought it best if maybe I blogged to get some of it out of my system. Caroline has moved home which I LOVE. I can deal with her messes but I cannot deal with her little dog Toby. He is adorable but he pees everywhere and this is stressing me out. The other day he ran under my car and stayed there for 10 minutes while i pleaded with him to come out. I didn't want him to get run over. I was outside, no makeup, no bra, no shoes. by the time I got back in the house I was so tense that I ate chips. (baked chips but still....) I could feel my heart racing. When I get frustrated, I eat. It's my comfort. I think toby may be a sabotager.
Secondly, my para is way overstepping. Last friday, when I had a sub for ME, my PARA let MY SUB go at noon. WHAT????? what message is THAT sending to Mark???? Also, she spent the rest of the afternoon digging in my desk drawers. I am so upset. Good thing I have nothing to eat at school because I sure felt a food fest coming on!!!! AH!
other then that, I think I'm doing good this week. I just wish Caroline could see that Toby is not happy here and we are not happy with Toby here. the little guy deserves someone who is with him a lot more then we are.
well..... we'll see how I do today foodwise!
STAY STRONG Lucy!

oh...and idol kicked my kid with the long hair off. boo.

Lost 2 pounds this week!

My scale at home said I lost 4 1/2 and I weighed in just prior to the actual weigh in.. so I guess I now know that my home scale is off by 2 1/2 pounds... bummer! BUT i DID lose 2 pounds so that is a positive. I will focus and try much harder for next week!!!! I'm going to LOSE!!! Go Lucy Go! haha

I've seen a change in the scale....

and it was a good one! Now if I can MAINTAIN that until Monday's Weigh in!!!!! I've got to see a loss...I've just got to!!!

Crazy, mixed up week

Crazy week.... Valentine's day... I don't really enjoy it. I remember the last Valentine's Day I was married. I remember seeing (cuz I went hunting!) one of those big balloons with gifts inside hidden in a closet and I was really excited because I saw what was inside!!! I waited all day at school... ready to come home and be 'surprised!' My surprise was a card and my husband at the time saying... "sorry, i just got called and have to go to wichita to work". I gave him his gift and he gave me a quick hug. As he was about to drive off.. I ran out to the car and gave him $100 bill. I told him that since he wouldn't be home for me to fix him the supper I had planned that I wanted him to have a wonderful valentine's day dinner and not just eat fast food. Then he drove off. I could see "my balloon" in the back of the station wagon. I cried as he drove off.
Wow... this is the first time I've ever talked about this. That day broke me.
Then I had to relive the morning my father passed away. I wanted to just wake up normally and deal with it my way, but my sister texted me at 5:30 AM to remind me! Let me just say that a text at that time in the morning made my heart race just as the day I got the actual phone call. I wish she wouldn't have done that. It was a tough day.
Next, Caroline moved home. I'm happy to have the company!!!! BUT I don't want Vanessa to be upset with me for allowing her to move home. I don't think she will be .... I'm not choosing sides. I'm just going to be their "mother' and love them both. :)
well... I better get going to school or I'll be LATE!!! maybe tonight I will get some much needed housework done!!!
Stay focused Lucy!!! Lose Lose Lose!!!!!!

20 pounds picture.....

Here I am with 20 pounds gone.....you be the judge....

Guess I better shake things up and get some more off me cuz i'm not seeing a big change!! YIKES!!! next picture... in 10 pounds.........

.....to be continued.

Movement....the WRONG WAY!

First of all...Happy Valentine's Day!
now... I weighed in and GAINED a pound! ugh! Lucy, Lucy, Lucy!!! What are you doing? Get your head BACK in the GAME!! .. nuff said. Next week I will see a loss!!!

OMG! Vanessa sent an APE to school today for me for valentine's day! HILARIOUS! He acted just like an ape and gave me a goody bad with HOT STUFF on it! haha.. the little monkey in the bag was adorable as well! The candy... well I will give it to Jaci!!! :) Made my day AND the kid's at school too! They loved it! Wish I would have had a camera!!!

Have GED tonight. Time to get back on track with everything. I don't need any more snow days! I know they were the death of my diet but I really need to learn how to diet when I'm at home as well!!! Practice!!! I can and WILL do this!!!!

For my GIRLS!!!! always and forever I love you!!!
Mom

NO movement....

I didn't lose a pound this week! Ugh! I want to scream!!! However, I did eat at subway twice this week....once with Vanessa and once with my sister Virgi....maybe that was the difference???Well, in any case... I must proceed ahead. Like Caroline said...don't give up!!! I won't!!! I want to see some movement this week!!!! I will try hard and stay focused!!! GO ME!!!!

ps. another snow day. NOT GOOD for me because I tend to cheat while I'm at home. Oh, I don't buy any snacks and things but I can always seem to find SOMETHING to eat... like spoonfuls of peanutbutter! WHAT?? Stop it Lucy!!!! grrrrrrr

Give me strength today Lord....I will need it!!! Back to school tomorrow hopefully!!!!

the dreaded week....

Yes, the dreaded week of the scale not moving has arrived. It is bumming me out but that is okay because I know I will have weeks like this and I know that means I need to step it up, work harder and lose more next week! Weigh in is tomorrow. yes I will go, but I won't be happy to see no loss or possibly even a pound gain. That will make me sad ....but more determined. I can and will do this! I feel sooooo much better already with 20 pounds gone. What will I feel like with 30 gone???? we shall see! yes we shall!
Today is a beautiful morning. Took the pugs and Toby out to potty. My grey cat was curled up on the front porch. Poor little thing has a hurt leg but he won't let me come near him. (he's a wild cat but I feed him). Got my egg whites eaten and now I'm going to go jump in the shower and get ready for church. I have so much to be thankful for ... the is absolutely NO REASON I cannot spend one hour a week in God's house letting him know how much I appreciate all He has done for me!
God is Good!

FRIDAY...... ...

Ok, so it is Friday and I'm a happy camper because tonight after school, I get to pick up Jaci for a sleepover at Nana's!!! I'm taking her out for a 'taco' because I promised...but none for me!!! I don't really have anything planned but maybe we will play a game and do some play dough together....then get blankets, jammies, and cuddle up under them on the couch and watch a movie together! I love these times with her. I take it all in.... the way she looks, the way she smells, just everything. .. I know it seems weird, but I want to remember everything just in case that one dreaded day comes when she says to her mom "I don't want to go to Nana's....she is old!" I know it will come, it always does...so for now, I'm soaking it ALL IN!!! :)
As for my weight.... the scale is not being cooperative this week. NOT BUDGING at all!!! I'll drink more water today to see if that helps at all.. hope so! I want to see another loss but if not, I will plug ahead and keep it up. .. NO FAILING this time around!
I better get to work on the IEP I have coming up next week...... so ..... Head up high.....this is going to be a GREAT DAY!

Pound Plunge Progress!

Okay, so I'm super duper excited because they just updated the pound plunge website and I am now number 55 out of 854 people!!! That means that I am ahead of almost 800 people!! My total body fat gone is 5.88%! Now I HAVE to keep it up!!! I WANT to be up there! I see the people from weeks one and two slowly, steadily falling. Makes me wonder if they truly were honest and didn't just go out and pork out the day of the first weigh in so they could lose a bunch on week one? I just want to keep going! I am so friggin happy right now that I want to jump up and down! haha
Well.... go team 1010!!!!! I'm finally starting to BELIEVE that I WILL do this!!!!!

6.4 more!!!

That makes a total for January of 19.9 pounds GONE!!! Heck ya! Just missed the 20 pound mark but hey, I'll take what I got!!! I feel good about myself! I'm working really hard and I'm not going to let anybody put me down or make me feel bad about my success!!! I DID it and I'm DANG PROUD of myself!!! Oh, I have plenty more to go...but one day at a time...stay focused with my eye on the prize!!! a nice beautiful DRESS for my baby girl's wedding!!!!! I want her to be as proud of me as I am of her!!!
I was super excited when my youngest, Caroline, texted me with a 'way to go mom!" It made my day that she was proud of me! She told me the other day that 'remember...you will have plateaus....just don't give up!' She's a smart one! I know she would like to see me healthier!!!! Who wants a 'fat mom'? I feel bad that my girls were labelled as the ones who had the 'fat mom'. I wonder how many times they were embarrassed of me? I guess I didn't think of it because I've always just been there for them whenever they need me... but ya, I bet there were times they probably wish I wasn't around! I will make amends for that by becoming who I should have been all along! I have now been fat for over half my life and it SUCKS and it's time for the change!!!!
Vanessa brought Jaci in to see me at work last night!!! I love love love that little girl and her mama so darn much! It truly made my day! That's why I'm doing this .... for my 3 beautiful daughters and Jaci Lane!
Keep going!!!!!